Goin' Blind

2003-06-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight The Wife is out of town (for the whole weekend, actually). I took the opportunity to make a trip to my local adult bookstore. I'm really in the mood for a video, but they want a $30 deposit, and that's just not in the budget right now. I had to settle for a couple of bundled packs of "letters" magazines. The difficulty in choosing those is making sure you get what you want. This particular shop has a plethora of "family encounters" magazines, and that really just sickens me. Now that I'm home and have my purchases out of the shrink wrap, I'm pretty pleased. I've already tossed off once to a foot fetish tale.

This was the first time I've been in there that a woman was working the counter. I've mostly seen men in this place, with the occasional couple or mixed-sex group looking around. Tonight there was an unaccompanied woman just ahead of me in line! She bought a huge 10" vibrator and was pretty upset that they were out of batteries. For a little while, I entertained my own little fantasy of offering my services in place of the powerless vibe, but let's be honest, folks, I'm not Brad Pitt. I doubt that she'd react with anything other than disgust, with the possible added humiliation of pepper spray or her calling the cops.

I'd never seriously consider cheating on The Wife. If there was some magical way to have a completely risk-free and guilt-free sexual encounter, I might think more about it, but it's not really realistic. I love her, we're pretty happy, and we're going to be together for the rest of our lives. I'm not going to let my dick mess that up.

2003-06-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

Though I haven't posted since last Friday, this week has been fairly eventful. I resorted to "self-abuse" at least twice over the weekend and into Monday, but there wasn't much of interest there. Tuesday night is when things got more fun.

I tried the Rosy Palm again on Tuesday night. For those of you who haven't been reading from the beginning, this is a masturbation technique I learned from JackinWorld, and I haven't had that much success. This time, it was different. I just used the lightest of touches, and held my cupped palm up so that the head of the penis rubbed against it. I didn't hold the shaft with my other hand, just used the palm itself with very small movements. I swear, when I came I almost passed out! Not only that, but the following night, I went back to a more ordinary technique, and it still felt somewhat like it had with Rosy. Talk about afterglow!

Thursday morning, I had some time off of work. I've mentioned before that I like the occasional bit of rectal stimulation. Since I had the house to myself, I indulged in something more. I've got a (relatively small) pink vibrator in the night stand, and with some lube and plenty of patience, I got a good portion of it inserted. It's not the kind of thing I want as a steady diet, but sometimes you've just gotta have a little extra spice, you know?

2003-06-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

Allow me to stray from the text a bit here and expound on a subject indirectly associated with my masturbatory life. It's spring, going on summer, and every year I have to work harder to keep from drooling at the young women who come into my place of work. I'd rather not be specific, but my job is in a public place and involves a lot of direct assistance of customers, and there are times when I honestly have difficulty staying on task when working with some of these women. It's horrifying to me that I get so completely distracted. I feel like a dirty old man, especially considering that most of the objects of my scrutiny seem to be teenagers.

I can try to blame this on the media and popular culture for objectifying women and sexualizing youth, but I don't think that's really very honest. It seems to me that this is purely a physical reaction. None of this is helped, of course, by the current fashions for women of this age: bared midriffs, short shorts, tight tops, and the like have an alarming tendency to make me drop my jaw and babble like an idiot.

Let me be clear. You are not reading the ravings of a pedophile. I am not going to pursue any of these women, and I'm honestly not all that interested in them as sexual partners per se. I just can't help but sit here and think, "Oh, my God, look at that!"

2003-06-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night's session was another keep-it-quiet type. It took a while for me to get started. Sometimes I lay there for a bit and just idly play around, trying to decide if I'm going to or not. What finally got me primed was a memory of an old encounter. It's one of those really incredible experiences that sticks with me, and it's provided dozens, if not hundreds, of orgasms well after the fact.

2003-06-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, I guess I've got an audience. I'll keep this thing going. Here's the latest update:

On Saturday night I stayed up late and jacked off to, of all things, a comic book. I was reading a trade paperback of stories from the DC comic book Gen 13. The art is over-the-top adolescent comic-book fantasy stuff, and although I can't really say it was the thing I was fantasizing about, it was definitely part of what got me in the mood.

On Tuesday, I did one in the easy chair fairly late. I was reading Barbach again.

Last night I was in bed early again. I finished Barbach, unfortunately right in the middle of things, so I had to rummage under the bed for some more traditional fare. Lusty Letters or something similar from a sex shop 3-pack. Got the job done, though.

2003-06-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can see, I've been gone for a bit. I have been thinking about this blog and it's purpose and trying to decide whether to keep doing it or not.

I started this as a way to answer a question for myself. I've always had this sneaking worry that I masturbate too much. I've wondered if I needed to cut down or be concerned. Posting about it was a way for me to keep track of what I was doing and how often, and making it public would make it harder to blow it off, since I was writing for an audience (no matter how small).

Now I feel like it's served its purpose. Looking back, I feel a lot more comfortable with the frequency of my sessions. I came here today with the intention of cancelling the blog. Then, I discovered that there was a comment on my last post. It was a real question. Somebody seemed at least marginally interested in what I'd written. I checked the stats, and there have been at least one or more people looking at the site every day since my last post, a week ago last Wednesday.

That changes things. If people are reading this and getting something out of it, then maybe there is a real audience. Maybe I do need to keep writing. So here's the deal. If you read this blog, let me know. Comment on this post or a previous one. Send me an e-mail (clicking the CONTACT link above). Tell me that I've amused you or made you wonder. If I get a response from this, I'll know it's not in vain, and I'll keep it going.

Since I don't want to scroll this from the top of the page, I'll give a rapid recap of the last 9 days in my sexual life (what I can remember, anyway):
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Thursday, 5/29/2003, morning - I was lucky enough to have a morning off, and I spent it sleeping, reading and having a good time. Only masturbated once, though.

Thursday, 5/29/2003, late night - I "christened" our new easy chair in the living room. Not literally. I was very careful. :-)

Sunday, 6/1/2003, night - The Wife and I had very athletic, very satisfying sex. 23 days and 14 masturbation sessions since the last time.

Monday or Tuesday, 6/2 or 6/3/2003 - I honestly can't remember when, but I'm sure I tossed off in bed once this week, and it was before Wednesday, so there you are. Obviously, it wasn't very memorable.

Wednesday, 6/4/2003, late night - Once more in the easy chair before bed.

2003-05-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

Nothing happened Sunday. On Monday night, I went to bed first and sneaked in a quick one. For some reason, I had a terrible time falling asleep. I tossed and turned. It was very frustrating. Finally, about 1:30 am, I pulled off again (reverse grip to start, a good low-motion choice) and was able to fall asleep. Say what you want about masturbation. For men, it's as good as a sleeping pill!

2003-05-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

Friday night I got caught! I'd closed the bedroom door while The Wife sat in the living room watching TV. I was really getting close to the big finish when she opened the door. I ended up going to sleep without the "consummation devoutly to be wished".

Saturday morning, though, I got to sleep in. We had family visiting. I was able to do the job properly. The story I was reading in Barbach was unusually raunchy. Most of the stories in the book are sort of nebulous and floaty. This read more like a well-written Penthouse Forum letter. Quite satisfying.

2003-05-28T08:10:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday I was lucky enough to have the morning off, so I got two nice relaxed sessions in. It's so nice to have the house to myself, you know?

2003-05-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

It's times like these I wish Blogger allowed you to re-date items.

Last Wednesday (5/28) I did the basic at bedtime, using Barbach and a handkerchief.

2003-05-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

Well, there's a mystery solved.

I've been using Google Alert to keep track of any mention of masterjack in Google's database (apparently, there's a German pop band with that name. I'm getting a lot about them). Anyway, I just read a past e-mail with a link to this item on linkfilter.net. I'm guessing this is where the spike in hits came from. Thanks guys!

2003-05-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning, The Wife got up early to work out to a new exercise video. I stayed in bed and worked out to Erotic Interludes again. Another lesbian story. Yum.

I went to bed just after midnight this morning, and went for my basic low-motion technique. I didn't so much fantasize as reminisce, I guess. I started thinking about old porn movies I'd watched in college, and with images from Bratgirl and Bimbo Bowlers from Boston bouncing around my head, I soon finished off and hit the hay.

I also gave myself a little tension-reliever in the shower this morning. Nothing spectacular there.

2003-05-14T12:36:00.000-07:00

Last night started out basic, but as I approached the pinnacle, I reached up and pinched my left nipple. I intended to just give it a little tweak, but I kept pinching harder and harder until, by the time I climaxed, I was squeezing as hard as I could. Mind-blowing.

2003-05-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

Did a double last night. The Wife was out shopping, so I had time to take it nice and slow with Barbach. It's getting into a couple of lesbian and bisexual stories, and I'm very happy about that. Later, before actually going to sleep, I did it again. Yay me!

2003-05-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend we were out of town visiting friends. On Friday night, after everyone was asleep, I got restless and went to the bathroom for some relief. I didn't feel like going dry, so I started hunting for something to lube with. At first, I chose some aloe vera gel that was sitting out, but it was way too sticky. I kept searching and eventually found a tube of shave cream that seemed ideal. Big mistake.

I didn't really realize how much friction was building up until I was past the point of no return, so I just pushed on and finished the job. Unfortunately, not only did I end up chafed, but the stuff was soap-based, so I went back to bed with the proverbial "burning sensation". From now on, I think I'll pack lube in my shaving kit when we travel.

2003-05-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have to play a quick catch-up here.

Wednesday night, The Wife and I had sex. SEX! On a WEDNESDAY NIGHT!!! This is amazing. In fact, it's the second Wednesday night in a row. Used to be, weekdays were completely off-limits. Looks like that's changed. 7 days and 6 masturbations since we last had sex.

Last night was more Erotic Interludes. The first story I read wasn't much, so I ended up almost finishing the second one before I got off and went to bed.

On to more administrative matters: I got a huge spike in readership the last couple of days. Prior to yesterday, my biggest day was 7 visitors on April 27. Probably me viewing the website multiple times while installing something. Yesterday I hit 167, and today is 49. Also, yesterday's post has a comment, and it's not from me. I'm not sure where the traffic is coming from, but you're all very welcome. Please read, comment, and tell your friends.

One of my goals here is to do a small part to make masturbation less stigmatized. That's why I really like the JackinWorld site. It's straightforward and informative, and it doesn't judge or apologize. I'm glad to see that some folks are looking in.

2003-05-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

A couple of experiences new to this blog, but not to me:

Yesterday, as I blogged about the previous night, I got so hot and bothered that I went to the restroom and masturbated there. I've done public bathrooms before, but this is the first time since my office moved to this new building. I had to pause for a bit while some other guy spent ten minutes at the sinks, but eventually I got the job done. The most questionable place I've masturbated is probably either the hot tub or the steam room at the health club I used to attend. If you've never done a steam room, I recommend it. The humid air makes breathing labored, and there's a certain thrill in oxygen deprivation.

This morning, I did a shower scene, but added anal penetration to the mix. It's not my regular habit, but there's a lot to be said for it.

2003-05-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

Last night I tried a modification of a technique I've used before.

Often, when I'm trying to decide if I really want to masturbate or not, I'll hold the base of my penis and sort of flip it back and forth, so that it bounces off my navel, if you get the picture. This time, I tried to keep doing that. It's always been an effective way to get hard, but it turned out to give some very good sensations as I continued. Once I got fully erect, it became difficult to keep doing that, so I changed to a more traditional pulling-off motion, but focused on the base rather than the shaft. This made for a prolonged session of intense sensation with a big, explosive finish. I liked it.

2003-05-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

Friday night was so basic I've already forgotten it.

Last night, on the other hand, involved another story from Erotic Interludes. This one was a sci-fi theme, with hot alien sex that was surprisingly vanilla. The only real alien thing was skin color. It didn't matter, though. The orgasm was good. End of story.

2003-05-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

NEW FEATURES!!

I've added a couple new bells and whistles. The link list on the right-hand side is now hosted at blogrolling.com. I've also added a comments feature, using Enetation. I'm not sure if there's anybody reading this to enjoy the new features, but oh well.

2003-05-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

A few things to catch up on:

I tossed off in the shower Wednesday morning. Nothing particularly special.

The Wife and I had sex Wednesday night. Tried a new position at first, but it didn't work out. Maybe we'll try it again some other time. For the record, 17 days and 8 masturbation sessions since the last time we had sex.

Last night in bed I went for the Rosy Palm as promised. It was way too intense for next-to-The-sleeping-Wife. I'll have to try it again sometime when I've got the house to myself. Even thought I couldn't finish with Rosy, I continued with a stroke higher up the pike than I usually go, which allowed for more glans contact. It was a really big success.

2003-04-27T00:51:00.000-07:00

Wow! Tonight I found a new website, called JackinWorld. I've added it to my links list. Incredible resource. Anyway, I used the Barbach book and a new technique called the Windshield Wiper. Very intense sensations. I finally had to finish off normally because my hand was too tired. Next time I'm in the mood for something different, I'll go for the Rosy Palm. Similar in effect, but involving less repetitive arm movement.

2003-04-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy weekend, out of town visiting family. I haven't done anything since Thursday night. That was another session with the Barbach book. I'm getting more impressed every time!

2003-04-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

Another slow and sultry one last night. Used a hanky to catch the stuff. I was feeling tidy.

2003-04-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Last night seemed ordinary, but there was something different about it. Things started out fast. After a few days off, I hardened up pretty quick. But then I went very slowly, and wow! Really mind-blowing. Surprising that there was so little come after such a big orgasm. When that happens, I always feel like the guy in There's Something About Mary. I want to check my hair and the wall above the bed to see if I overshot and made a real mess.

2003-04-19T10:40:00.000-07:00

Last night was a double. I went straight to the couch after The Wife hit the sack and spent a few minutes with a new book, Lonnie Barbach's Erotic Interludes. It's a collection of erotic stories written by women. I read the first one and got off pretty quickly.

I then settled down to watch a movie, and before I finally headed off to bed, I tossed off to story #2 in the collection. Good stuff!

2003-04-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

Whew! Big doin's this weekend, I tell you!

Saturday was a two-timer. Once in the morning before getting out of bed, and once at night after staying up late to watch American Beauty. There's really something very very sad about masturbating in bed next to my sleeping wife to remembered scenes from a movie that includes, as evidence of how sad the hero's life is, scenes of him masturbating in bed next to his sleeping wife. I may start calling myself Lester Burnham.

Then, last night, SEX! Woohoo!! I feel like that Sesame Street counting bit where the numbers count slowly up, and when it hits the top: SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! Let's sing a song about SEX! How many is SEXXXXX?!?!?.

After that, The Wife went out to get on the computer for awhile. I sat up and read for awhile, and after about an hour and a half, I felt the need, so I jacked off. Sometimes you just have to, you know?

And this morning, we woke up early, and The Wife rolled over and started snuggling and stuff, and before you knew it, sex AGAIN! Damn! I feel like I'm in college again! Then, after she got in the shower, I ended up masturbating one more time, and it took FOREVER. On second thought, I'm clearly not in college again. I'm slowing down, folks. Sad but true.

Just for the record, I've masturbated 12 times between starting the blog on March 27 and the first episode of sex. Then there was one JO before having sex again. Let's see how things go. One of my purposes here is to keep track of these things, charting my obsession, as it were.

2003-04-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

The last two nights have been just the standard thing. "Wham, Bam, Thank You Hand" as it were.

2003-04-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

Last night was really rough. The Wife is having back problems, so she asked me to give her a massage. It is understood from the get-go that this will not lead to anything, because: a) She's really tired. b) Her back hurts. and c) My parents are visiting. This doesn't make it any easier for me to rub "Tranquility" massage oil all over her naked body. All I want is to slide my hands under her, oil up her nipples, and dry-hump her backside. Of course, no such thing occurs, so when she is sufficiently rubbed down, I excuse myself to the bathroom for a furious jack-off. The oil is still on my fingers, so my hands are just a bit tacky, and it turns into a real gusher. "Tranquility" my ass.

2003-04-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was another one requiring finesse and silence, as The Wife was sleeping next to me. Other than that, pretty standard. I fantasized about Friday night's babysitter teaching The Wife to give me head, something she refuses to do except in my mind. Pity.

2003-04-05T13:06:00.000-08:00

Last night I stayed up late with a magazine and did it on the couch. This mag, one of the dozen or so I rotate through, is a little different than most.

I like stories, rather than pictures, as a general rule. This one, Lusty Letters or something like that, has a lot of non-penetration stuff. People going to swinger parties where nothing happens but masturbation, for instance. I'm guessing it dates from the late 80s, when the AIDS panic was at its peak. Anyway, it works, so that's alright.

2003-04-03T06:44:00.000-08:00

The night before last, The Wife was taking her time in the bathroom before bed, so I slipped the magazine out from under the bed and sneaked a quick toss. It's funny how much better it feels after a couple of days off.

In the past, I tried to give it up for Lent, but I never lasted more than about a week and a half. Now I give up coffee, tea, soda, and all other beverages other than juice, water, and milk. I also fast for 36 hours every week of the season. Interesting that it's easier to give up something that the body actually needs than to stop doing something that gives us pleasure.

2003-03-31T09:56:00.000-08:00

Had some time to myself this morning, so I indulged. I used a magazine, which I haven't had the luxury to do in awhile, and it was pretty quick. But hey, it's not like I've ever had a bad orgasm, right?

2003-03-29T09:59:00.000-08:00

Last night, I stayed up late reading, and finished off on the couch before going to bed. There's something to be said about a good old-fashioned wank, especially after having to be furtive for awhile. Very satisfying.

2003-03-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning I did it in the shower after waking up with a big steely one, half from water pressure, and half from a really strange dream I'd had. More about that in a minute. I used some moisturizing body wash for lubrication. This avoids the chafing that can happen in a hot shower, but also prolongs the process, as it reduces friction.

About the dream: The scenario was that, for some reason, The Wife was leaving me. I was really depressed, and taking solace in sex. The weird thing was my partners. Both were old friends from college who I haven't seen in many years. At first, I was with a guy I'll call A.J. Basically, we were just holding each other for comfort, but we weren't clothed, and I was very aware of him against my leg. After that, I went to the girl, a big black woman I'd had this love/hate thing with my freshman year. I honestly can't remember much about her (in the dream, that is) other than the kissing. There was something about the way she kissed me that was very deeply satisfying. I felt like I could do it forever. The dream was less about intimacy than about comfort. It was very peaceful, which is why I'm attributing my wood mostly to the need to urinate.

2003-03-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

Well, last night I came home late and tossed off in bed. Since The Wife was asleep, I had to go for a quiet, minimal movement method. I used the tips of the fingers just at the head, useful since the cupped hand acts as a catcher's mitt. I fantasized about this incredibly delicious woman I saw today. She was tall and black, with a great accent I couldn't place. Might have been Carribean or West Africa somewhere, but definitely not American. She smelled incredible. I don't know what perfume she was wearing, but it made me crazy!